In the name of Allah most merciful…Important topic how to win the hearts?
i don’t like to post lengthy post but as this topic is very intrusted ,don’t miss it every part of this post help you maintain ur life toward success … The way of Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ in wining the hearts of the creation Belief and good deeds Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Maryam 19: 96 إِنَّ الَّذِيْنَ آمَنُوْا وَعَمِلُوْا الصَّالِحَاتِ سَيَجْعَلُ لَهُمُ الرَّحْمَانُ وُدًّا “Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection.” The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said that Allah the Exalted says, إِذَا أَحَبَّ اللَّهُ الْعَبْدَ نَادَى جِبْرِيْلَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ فُلَانًا فَأَحْبِبْهُ فَيُحِبُّهُ جِبْرِيْلُ فَيُنَادِي جِبْرِيْلُ فِي أَهْلِ السَّمَاءِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ فُلَانًا فَأَحِبُّوْهُ فَيُحِبُّهُ أَهْلُ السَّمَاءِ ثُمَّ يُوْضَعُ لَهُ الْقَبُوْلُ فِي الْأَرْضِ
“If Allah loves a person, He calls Jibrael saying, ‘Allah loves so and-so; O Jibrael! Love him.’ Jibrael would love him and make an announcement amongst the inhabitants of the Heaven. ‘Allah loves so-and-so, therefore you should love him also,’ and so all the inhabitants of the Heaven would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 4:431 (BOOK OF BEGINNING OF CREATION), SAHEEH MUSLIM 6373 (BOOK OF VIRTUES, GOOD MANNERS AND JOINING OF THE TIES OF RELATIONSHIP)]] Ibn Hajr said, the meaning of الْقَبُولُ is, قُبُوْلُ الْقُلُوْبِ لَهُ بِالْـمَحَبَّةِ وَالْـمَيْلُ إِلَيْهِ بِالرِّضَا عَنْهُ “الْقَبُولُ” means hearts accept that person with love and feel inclined to him while being pleased with him.” Harim bin Hayyaan Al-Abdi said قَالَ هَرِمُ بْنُ حَيَّانَ الْعَبْدِيُّ : مَا أَقْبَلَ عَبْدٌ بِقَلْبِهِ إِلَى اللهِ إِلَّا أَقْبَلَ اللهُ بِقُلُوْبِ الْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ إِلَيْهِ حَتَّى يَرْزُقَهُ مُوَدَّتَهُمْ وَرَحْمَتَهُمْ
“Whenever any person inclines towards Allah, Allah makes the hearts of the believers incline towards him, until he gets their love and mercy.” [Tafseer ibn kathir surah Maryam 19:96] Love for the sake of Allah and spreading ‘Salaam’ The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَا تَدْخُلُوْنَ الْجَنَّةَ حَتَّى تُؤْمِنُوْا وَلَا تُؤْمِنُوْا حَتَّى تَحَابُّوْا أَوَلَا أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى شَيْءٍ إِذَا فَعَلْتُمُوْهُ تَحَابَبْتُمْ أَفْشُوْا السَّلَامَ بَيْنَكُمْ
“You shall not enter paradise until you believe, and you will have not believed until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something you can do to make you love one another? Spread the greetings of salaam amongst yourselves (between each other).” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM 96 (BOOK OF FAITH)] Helping people and fulfilling their needs The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَـى اللهِ أنْفَعُهُمْ “The best among the people in the sight of Allah is one who is more beneficial to them (people).”
[NARRATED BY ibn umar رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN al-kabeer by tabarani, IBN ABI DUNYA IN QADAUL HAWAAIJ, AUTHENTICATED (Hasan) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 176] a. Family and relatives The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي “The best amongst you is the one who is best towards his family and I am the best amongst you towards my family.”
[NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN TIRMIDHI, ALSO NARRATED BY IBN ABBAS رضي الله عنه RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, AND NARRATED BY MUAWIYAH رضي الله عنه RECORDED IN AL- KABEER BY TABARANI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI: 3314] b. Importance of co-operation of the family in the duty of Dawah Statement of Musa عليه السلام Surah Ta-Ha 20:29-31 وَاجْعَل لِّي وَزِيْرًا مِّنْ أَهْلِي. هَارُوْنَ أَخِي. اشْدُدْ بِهِ أَزْرِي “And appoint for me a minister from my family – Aaron, my brother. Increase through him my strength.” c. Serving the members of the family Al- Aswad رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ الْأَسْوَدِ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ عَائِشَةَ مَا كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَصْنَعُ فِي بَيْتِهِ قَالَتْ كَانَ يَكُوْنُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ – تَعْنِي خِدْمَةَ أَهْلِهِ – فَإِذَا حَضَرَتْ الصَّلَاةُ خَرَجَ إِلَى الصَّلَاةِ
“That he asked ‘Aisha رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهاُ “What did the Prophet use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” [NARRATED BY ASWAD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 1: 644 (the book of Call to Prayers)] d. The neighbors The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ وَاللَّهِ لَا يُؤْمِنُ وَاللَّهِ لَا يُؤْمِنُ وَاللَّهِ لَا يُؤْمِنُ قَالُوْا وَمَا ذَاكَ يَا رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ قَالَ الْجَارُ لَا يَأْمَنُ جَارُهُ بَوَائِقَهُ قَالُوا يَا رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ وَمَا بَوَائِقُهُ قَالَ شَرُّهُ
“By Allah he is not a believer! By Allah he is not a believer! By Allah he is not a believer! They asked, “What is that O Messenger of Allah?” He (s) said, ‘He is that person from whose calamity his neighbour is not secure.” They asked “And what is this calamity, O Messenger of Allah?” He (s) said, “It is his evil.” [SHOEB AL ARNAUT SAYS, “ITS ISNAAD ARE SAHEEH ACCORDING TO THE CONDITIONS OF MUSLIM. ALL ITS NARRATORS ARE AUTHENTIC ACCORDING TO THE CONDITIONS OF BUKHARI AND MUSLIM EXCEPT ISMAIL BIN AMR WHO IS FROM THE PEOPLE FROM WHOM MUSLIM REPORTED. AUTHENTICATED SAHEEH BY ALBANI IN SILSILAH AHADEEH AS SAHEEHAH 2181] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيُكْرِمْ جَارَهُ “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his neighbor generously,” [NARRATED BY Abu Shuraih Al-Adawi رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:48 (the book of Good Manners and Form)] And in Saheeh Muslim, فَلْيُحْسِنْ إِلَى جَارِهِ “He should do good to the neighbour.” [NARRATED BY abu hurairah رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM 77 (book of faith)] Hence it is essential that we should be loved by our neighbour. (To achieve that we could do the following): We should become the first ones to do Salaam We should visit him when he is sick We console him when in difficulty We congratulate him in his happiness We forgive his mistakes We should not try to find out about his secrets If there are any secrets of his which we have come to know, then we should conceal them. We should consider it important to give him gifts and visit him often. We should do good to him. We should not trouble him. Making others happy The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, أَحَبُّ الأعْمَالِ إِلَى اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ سُرُوْرٌ تُدْخِـلُهُ عَلَى مُسْلِمٍ أوْ تَكْشِفُ عنهُ كُرْبَةً أوْ تَقْضِي عَنْهُ دَيْناً أوْ تَطْرُدُ عَنْهُ جُوْعاً “And the most beloved deed to Allah is that you Make a Muslim happy or Solve his difficulty or Pay for him his debt or Drive away his hunger.”
[NARRATED BY IBN UMAR رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN ABI DUNYA IN QADAUL HAWAAIJ, AL-KABEER BY TABARANI, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 176] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَا تَحْقِرَنَّ مِنْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ شَيْئًا وَلَوْ أَنْ تَلْقَى أَخَاكَ بِوَجْهٍ طَلْقٍ
“Don’t consider anything insignificant out of good things even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful countenance.” [NARRATED BY Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6359 The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship)] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, وَلَا تَحْقِرَنَّ شَيْئًا مِنْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ وَأَنْ تُكَلِّمَ أَخَاكَ وَأَنْتَ مُنْبَسِطٌ إِلَيْهِ وَجْهَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ “Do not look down upon any good work, and when you speak to your brother, show him a cheerful face. This is a good work.”
[NARRATED BY JAABIR BIN SALIM رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN ABU DAWOOD 4073 (KITAB AL LIBAAS), AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 7309] Abdullah bin Haarith bin Jaza’a رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ الْحَارِثِ بْنِ جَزْءٍ قَالَ مَا رَأَيْتُ أَحَدًا أَكْثَرَ تَبَسُّمًا مِنْ رَسُوْلِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ “I never saw anyone who used to smile more than the Messenger of Allah (s).” [NARRATED BY ABDULLAH BIN HAARITH BIN Jaza’a رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN TIRMIDHI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI] Jareer bin Abdullah رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن جرير بن عبد الله رضي الله عنه قال : مَا حَجَبَنِيْ رَسُوْلُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مُنْذُ أَسْلَمْتُ وَلَا رَآَنِيْ إِلَّا ضَحِكَ
“Prophet Muhammed (s) used to always remember me ever since I accepted Islam, and whenever he used to look at me he used to smile.” In another narration the word, إِلَّا تَبَسَّمَ (he used to smile) is mentioned.” (231) [RECORDED IN MUKHTASAR SHAMAIL AL MUHAMMEDIYAH 196, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN THAT BOOK] a. Being compassionate with children and making them happy Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَحْسَنَ النَّاسِ خُلُقًا وَكَانَ لِي أَخٌ يُقَالُ لَهُ أَبُوْ عُمَيْرٍ قَالَ أَحْسِبُهُ فَطِيْمًا وَكَانَ إِذَا جَاءَ قَالَ يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ نُغَرٌ كَانَ يَلْعَبُ بِهِ
“The Prophet was the best of all the people in character. I had a brother called Abu ‘Umar, who, I think, had been newly weaned. Whenever he (that child) was brought to the Prophet the Prophet used to say, “O Abu ‘Umar! What did Al-Nughair (nightingale) (do)?” It was a nightingale with which he used to play.” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:222 (Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM: 5350 (The Book on General Behaviour)] b. Some light joking with elders Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ أَنَّ رَجُلًا مِنْ أَهْلِ الْبَادِيَةِ كَانَ اسْمُهُ زَاهِرًا كَانَ يُهْدِي لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْهَدِيَّةَ مِنْ الْبَادِيَةِ فَيُجَهِّزُهُ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَخْرُجَ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ زَاهِرًا بَادِيَتُنَا وَنَحْنُ حَاضِرُوْهُ وَكَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُحِبُّهُ وَكَانَ رَجُلًا دَمِيْمًا فَأَتَاهُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَوْمًا وَهُوَ يَبِيْعُ مَتَاعَهُ فَاحْتَضَنَهُ مِنْ خَلْفِهِ وَهُوَ لَا يُبْصِرُهُ فَقَالَ الرَّجُلُ أَرْسِلْنِي مَنْ هَذَا فَالْتَفَتَ فَعَرَفَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَجَعَلَ لَا يَأْلُوْ مَا أَلْصَقَ ظَهْرَهُ بِصَدْرِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ حِيْنَ عَرَفَهُ وَجَعَلَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُوْلُ مَنْ يَشْتَرِي الْعَبْدَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ إِذًا وَاللَّهِ تَجِدُنِي كَاسِدًا فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَكِنْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ لَسْتَ بِكَاسِدٍ أَوْ قَالَ لَكِنْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَنْتَ غَالٍ
“There was a man who used to stay in the dessert whose name was Zaahir. When he would come from the dessert he used to bring for him gifts and when he would intend to go back the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to load him with gifts. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to say, “Zaahir is for us in the dessert and i am for him in the city.” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to love him even though he was a ugly looking person. One day the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم came to him while he was selling his things and caught him from behind. Zaahir could not see so he said, “leave me! Who is it?” When he turned, saw and found that it was the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he started pressing his back more to the chest of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم not minding it any more. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم started saying, “Who will buy this slave from me?” He said, “O Messenger of Allah! You will find me very cheap.”
On this the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “Before Allah you are not cheap” or he said, “Before Allah your are very precious”” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه, RECORDED IN MUSNAD AHMAD, AUTHENTICATED BY SHOAIB AL-ARNAOOT: ACCORDING TO THE CONDITIONS OF BUKHARI AND MUSLIM] Respecting all Muslims, honoring them and behaving courteously with them The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَيْسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي مَنْ لَمْ يُجِلَّ كَبِيْرَنَا وَيَرْحَمْ صَغِيْرَنَا وَيَعْرِفْ لِعَالِمِنَا حَقَّهُ
“He is not from my followers who does not honour the elders, does not have mercy on our youngsters, who does not know the status of scholars.”
[NARRATED BY IBAADAH BIN SWAMIT رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN MUSNAD AHMED, HAAKIM, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 5443] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, إِذَا أَتَاكُمْ كَرِيْمُ قَوْمٍ فَأَكْرِمُوْهُ “When an honoured person of any community comes to you then you should honour him.”
[NARRATED BY IBN UMAR رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, ALSO NARRATED BY JABIR RECORDED IN HAAKIM, ALSO NARRATED BY IBN ABBAS AND ABDULLAH BIN DHAMARAH RECORDED IN AL- KABEER BY TABARANI, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 269] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيُكْرِمْ ضَيْفَهُ “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously,”
[NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 47 (the book of Good Manners and Form) and also in muslim] And Prophet (saw) said on the day of the Conquest of Mecca وَقَالَ عَلَيْهِ أَفْضَلُ الصَّلَاةِ وَالسَّلَامُ يَوْمَ الْفَتْحِ مَنْ دَخَلَ دَارَ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ فَهُوَ آمِنٌ “Who enters the house of Abu Sufyaan will be safe,”
[NARRATED on the authority of Abdullah b. RABAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 4396 (The Book of Jihad and EXPEDITION)] المداراة – Soft speech, pleasant appearance and good behavior والْمُدَارَاةُ هِيَ لِيْنُ الْكَلَامِ والبَشَاشَةُ وَحُسْنُ العِشَرَةِ لِأُنَاسٍ عِنْدَهُم شَيءٌ مِنَ الفُجُوْرِ والفِسْقِ لِمَصلَحَةٍ شَرعِيَّةٍ . الْمُدَارَاةُ لَيسَتِ الْمُدَاهَنَةُ.
المداراة is soft speech, having a pleasant appearance and good behavior even with evil, rebellious people for a resaon of the Shariah.” Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ أَنَّ رَجُلًا اسْتَأْذَنَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَلَمَّا رَآهُ قَالَ بِئْسَ أَخُوْ الْعَشِيْرَةِ وَبِئْسَ ابْنُ الْعَشِيْرَةِ فَلَمَّا جَلَسَ تَطَلَّقَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي وَجْهِهِ وَانْبَسَطَ إِلَيْهِ فَلَمَّا انْطَلَقَ الرَّجُلُ قَالَتْ لَهُ عَائِشَةُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ حِينَ رَأَيْتَ الرَّجُلَ قُلْتَ لَهُ كَذَا وَكَذَا ثُمَّ تَطَلَّقْتَ فِي وَجْهِهِ وَانْبَسَطْتَ إِلَيْهِ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَا عَائِشَةُ مَتَى عَهِدْتِنِي فَحَّاشًا إِنَّ شَرَّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ مَنْ تَرَكَهُ النَّاسُ اتِّقَاءَ شَرِّهِ
“A man asked permission to enter upon Allah’s Apostle (s). The Prophet said, “Admit him. What an evil brother of his people or a son of his people.” But when the man entered, the Prophet spoke to him in a very polite manner. (And when that person left) I said, “O Allah’s Apostle! You had said what you had said, yet you spoke to him in a very polite manner?” The Prophet said, “O ‘Aisha! The worst people are those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression.” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 80 (the book of Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Good Speech حسن الكلام The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, الْكَلِمَةُ الطَّيِّبَةُ صَدَقَةٌ “And (saying) a good word is also Sadaqa,” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 4: 232 (the book of Fighting for the Cause of Allah), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Isra’a 17: 53 وَقُل لِّعِبَادِي يَقُوْلُواْ الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَنْزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلإِنْسَانِ عَدُوًّا مُّبِيْنًا
“And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.” Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا أَنَّ يَهُوْدَ أَتَوْا النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالُوْا السَّامُ عَلَيْكُمْ فَقَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ : ((عَلَيْكُمْ وَلَعَنَكُمْ اللَّهُ وَغَضِبَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكُمْ )) قَالَ : ((مَهْلًا يَا عَائِشَةُ عَلَيْكِ بِالرِّفْقِ وَإِيَّاكِ وَالْعُنْفَ وَالْفُحْشَ )) قَالَتْ أَوَلَمْ تَسْمَعْ مَا قَالُوْا قَالَ (( أَوَلَمْ تَسْمَعِي مَا قُلْتُ رَدَدْتُ عَلَيْهِمْ فَيُسْتَجَابُ لِيْ فِيْهِمْ وَلَا يُسْتَجَابُ لَهُمْ فِيَّ ))
“The Jews came to the Prophet and said, “As-Samu ‘Alaikum” (death be on you).’Aisha said (to them), “(Death) be on you, and may Allah curse you and shower His wrath upon you!” The Prophet said, “Be calm, O ‘Aisha ! You should be kind and lenient, and beware of harshness and Fuhsh (i.e. bad words).” She said (to the Prophet), “Haven’t you heard what they (Jews) have said?” He said, “Haven’t you heard what I have said (to them)? I said the same to them, and my invocation against them will be accepted while theirs against me will be rejected (by Allah). ” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 57 (the book of Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM, TIRMIDHI, IBN MAJAH, MUSNAD AHMED, DAARIMI, WORDS ARE FROM BUKHARI] a. Respecting the person talking and not interrupting his conversation Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ مَا رَأَيْتُ رَجُلًا الْتَقَمَ أُذُنَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَيُنَحِّي رَأْسَهُ حَتَّى يَكُونَ الرَّجُلُ هُوَ الَّذِي يُنَحِّي رَأَسَهُ وَمَا رَأَيْتُ رَجُلًا أَخَذَ بِيَدِهِ فَتَرَكَ يَدَهُ حَتَّى يَكُوْنَ الرَّجُلُ هُوَ الَّذِي يَدَعُ يَدَهُ
“I never saw that when any man brought his mouth to the ear of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and he withdrew his head until the man himself withdrew his head, and I never saw that when any man took him by his hand and he withdrew his hand, until the man himself withdrew his hand.” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN ABU DAWOOD 4776 (KITAAB AL AADAAB), AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI] الرفق Kindness The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيْقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ وَمَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى مَا سِوَاهُ
“Verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness).” [NARRATED BY aisha رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6273 (The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship)] a. The incident of the person who urinated in the mosque Anas bin Malik رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن أَنَسُ بْنُ مَالِكٍ قَالَ بَيْنَمَا نَحْنُ فِي الْمَسْجِدِ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذْ جَاءَ أَعْرَابِيٌّ فَقَامَ يَبُوْلُ فِي الْمَسْجِدِ فَقَالَ أَصْحَابُ رَسُوْلِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَهْ مَهْ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَا تُزْرِمُوْهُ دَعُوْهُ فَتَرَكُوْهُ حَتَّى بَالَ ثُمَّ إِنَّ رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ دَعَاهُ فَقَالَ لَهُ إِنَّ هَذِهِ الْمَسَاجِدَ لَا تَصْلُحُ لِشَيْءٍ مِنْ هَذَا الْبَوْلِ وَلَا الْقَذَرِ إِنَّمَا هِيَ لِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَالصَّلَاةِ وَقِرَاءَةِ الْقُرْآنِ أَوْ كَمَا قَالَ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ فَأَمَرَ رَجُلًا مِنَ الْقَوْمِ فَجَاءَ بِدَلْوٍ مِنْ مَاءٍ فَشَنَّهُ عَلَيْهِ
“While we were in the mosque with Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him), a desert Arab came and stood up and began to urinate in the mosque. The Companions of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Stop, stop, but the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Don’t interrupt him; leave him alone. They left him alone, and when he finished urinating, Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) called him and said to him: These mosques are not the places meant for urine and filth, but are only for the remembrance of Allah, prayer and the recitation of the Qur’an, or Allah’s Messenger said something like that. He (the narrator) said that he (the Holy Prophet) then gave orders to one of the people who brought a bucket of water and poured it over.” [NARRATED BY ANAS BIN MALIK رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 559 (The Book of Purification)] b. The incident of the person who spoke in Salah Muawiyah bin Al- Hakami As-Sulami رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ مُعَاوِيَةَ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ السُّلَمِيِّ قَالَ بَيْنَا أَنَا أُصَلِّي مَعَ رَسُوْلِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذْ عَطَسَ رَجُلٌ مِنْ الْقَوْمِ فَقُلْتُ يَرْحَمُكَ اللَّهُ فَرَمَانِي الْقَوْمُ بِأَبْصَارِهِمْ فَقُلْتُ وَا ثُكْلَ أُمِّيَاهْ مَا شَأْنُكُمْ تَنْظُرُوْنَ إِلَيَّ فَجَعَلُوْا يَضْرِبُوْنَ بِأَيْدِيْهِمْ عَلَى أَفْخَاذِهِمْ فَلَمَّا رَأَيْتُهُمْ يُصَمِّتُوْنَنِي لَكِنِّي سَكَتُّ فَلَمَّا صَلَّى رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَبِأَبِي هُوَ وَأُمِّي مَا رَأَيْتُ مُعَلِّمًا قَبْلَهُ وَلَا بَعْدَهُ أَحْسَنَ تَعْلِيْمًا مِنْهُ فَوَاللَّهِ مَا قَهَرَنِي وَلَا ضَرَبَنِي وَلَا شَتَمَنِي قَالَ إِنَّ هَذِهِ الصَّلَاةَ لَا يَصْلُحُ فِيْهَا شَيْءٌ مِنْ كَلَامِ النَّاسِ إِنَّمَا هُوَ التَّسْبِيْحُ وَالتَّكْبِيْرُ وَقِرَاءَةُ الْقُرْآنِ أَوْ كَمَا قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
“While I was praying with the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), a man in the company sneezed. I said: Allah have mercy on you! The people stared at me with disapproving looks, so I said: Woe be upon me, why is it that you stare at me? They began to strike their hands on their thighs, and when I saw them urging me to observe silence (I became angry) but I said nothing. When the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) had said the prayer (and I declare that neither before him nor after him have I seen a leader who gave better instruction than he for whom I would give my father and mother as ransom). I swear that he did not scold, beat or revile me but said: Talking to persons is not fitting during the prayer, for it consists of glorifying Allah, declaring his Greatness. and recitation of the Qur’an or words to that effect.” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 1094 (The Book of Prayers)] Forbearance, controlling anger and forgiving people Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Ale- Imran 3:134 وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ “And who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good,” The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ
“The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 135 (the book of Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6314 (The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship)] Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Fussilat 41: 34-35 وَلا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].” Anas bin Malik رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ كُنْتُ أَمْشِي مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَعَلَيْهِ بُرْدٌ نَجْرَانِيٌّ غَلِيظُ الْحَاشِيَةِ فَأَدْرَكَهُ أَعْرَابِيٌّ فَجَذَبَهُ جَذْبَةً شَدِيدَةً حَتَّى نَظَرْتُ إِلَى صَفْحَةِ عَاتِقِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَدْ أَثَّرَتْ بِهِ حَاشِيَةُ الرِّدَاءِ مِنْ شِدَّةِ جَذْبَتِهِ ثُمَّ قَالَ مُرْ لِي مِنْ مَالِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي عِنْدَكَ فَالْتَفَتَ إِلَيْهِ فَضَحِكَ ثُمَّ أَمَرَ لَهُ بِعَطَاءٍ
“While I was walking with the Prophet who was wearing a Najrani outer garment with a thick hem, a bedouin came upon the Prophet and pulled his garment so violently that I could recognize the impress of the hem of the garment on his shoulder, caused by the violence of his pull. Then the bedouin said, “Order for me something from Allah’s Fortune which you have.” The Prophet turned to him and smiled, and ordered that a gift be given to him.” [NARRATED BY ANAS BIN MALIM رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 4:377 (the book of One-fifth of Booty to the Cause of Allah), SAHEEH MUSLIM] الجود والكرم Generosity and benevolence Jabir رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن جَابِرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قالَ مَا سُئِلَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَنْ شَيْءٍ قَطُّ فَقَالَ لَا “It never happened that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) was asked for anything and he said: No.”
[NARRATED BY JABIR رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI, SAHEEH MUSLIM: 5726 (The Book Pertaining to the Excellent Qualities of the Holy Prophet (may Peace be upon them) and His Companions)] Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ مَا سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَلَى الْإِسْلَامِ شَيْئًا إِلَّا أَعْطَاهُ قَالَ فَجَاءَهُ رَجُلٌ فَأَعْطَاهُ غَنَمًا بَيْنَ جَبَلَيْنِ فَرَجَعَ إِلَى قَوْمِهِ فَقَالَ يَا قَوْمِ أَسْلِمُوا فَإِنَّ مُحَمَّدًا يُعْطِي عَطَاءً لَا يَخْشَى الْفَاقَةَ
“It never happened that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) was asked anything for the sake of Islam and he did not give that. There came to him a person and he gave him a large flock (of sheep and goats) and he went back to his people and said: My people, embrace Islam, for Muhammad gives so much charity as if he has no fear of want.” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM 5728 (KITAB AL FADAIL)] Giving gifts is one of the forms of generosity The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, تَهَادَوْا تَحَابُّوا “Give gifts: You will start loving each other.” [NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN MUSNAD ABU YA’LA, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 3004] Humility and being kind to people التواضع ولين الجانب The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, مَنْ كانَ هَيِّناً لَيِّناً قَريباً حَرَّمَهُ الله على النّارِ ”The person who by nature is easy-going, kind natured. Allah will make the fire of Hell forbidden for him.” [NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN HAAKIM, BAIHAQI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 6484] Abu Mas’ood رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَبِي مَسْعُودٍ قَالَ أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ رَجُلٌ فَكَلَّمَهُ فَجَعَلَ تُرْعَدُ فَرَائِصُهُ فَقَالَ لَهُ هَوِّنْ عَلَيْكَ فَإِنِّي لَسْتُ بِمَلِكٍ إِنَّمَا أَنَا ابْنُ امْرَأَةٍ تَأْكُلُ الْقَدِيدَ “A man came to the Prophet (s) and started talking to him. (While he was talking) his both sides started to tremble.
The Prophet (s) said to him, “Take it easy, for I am not a King. Rather I am (only) the son of a woman who used to eat intestines.” [Eating the intestines of an animal is normally considered an action of very poor people]
[NARRATED BY ABU MAS’OOD AL- BADRI رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, HAAKIM, ALSO NARRATED BY JARAIR RECORDED IN HAAKIM, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 7052] It is mentioned in the Qur’an, Surah Al- Ara’af, 7: 12 that it was the statement of Iblees, أَنَاْ خَيْرٌ مِّنْهُ خَلَقْتَنِي مِن نَّارٍ وَخَلَقْتَهُ مِن طِينٍ “I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay.” Being lenient in dealings a. Being lenient in taking and giving things The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, كَانَ الرَّجُلُ يُدَايِنُ النَّاسَ فَكَانَ يَقُولُ لِفَتَاهُ إِذَا أَتَيْتَ مُعْسِرًا فَتَجَاوَزْ عَنْهُ لَعَلَّ اللَّهَ أَنْ يَتَجَاوَزَ عَنَّا قَالَ فَلَقِيَ اللَّهَ فَتَجَاوَزَ عَنْهُ
“There was a merchant who used to lend the people, and whenever his debtor was in straitened circumstances, he would say to his employees, ‘Forgive him so that Allah may forgive us.’ So, Allah forgave him.” [NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 3:292 (BOOK OF SALES AND TRADE), SAHEEH MUSLIM 3793 (BOOK OF TRADE)] Abu Hurairah رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ أَنَّ رَجُلًا أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَتَقَاضَاهُ فَأَغْلَظَ فَهَمَّ بِهِ أَصْحَابُهُ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ دَعُوهُ فَإِنَّ لِصَاحِبِ الْحَقِّ مَقَالًا ثُمَّ قَالَ أَعْطُوهُ سِنًّا مِثْلَ سِنِّهِ قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِلَّا أَمْثَلَ مِنْ سِنِّهِ فَقَالَ أَعْطُوهُ [فَقَالَ أَوْفَيْتَنِي أَوْفَى اللَّهُ بِكَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَإِنَّ مِنْ خَيْرِكُمْ أَحْسَنَكُمْ قَضَاءً
“A man came to the Prophet demanding his debts and behaved rudely. The companions of the Prophet intended to harm him, but Allah’s Apostle said (to them), “Leave him, for the creditor (i.e. owner of a right) has the right to speak.” Allah’s Apostle then said, “Give him a camel of the same age as that of his.” The people said, “O Allah’s Apostle! There is only a camel that is older than his.” Allah’s Apostle said, “Give (it to) him,” [On that, the man remarked, “You have given me my right in full. May Allah give you in full.”] “For the best amongst you is he who pays the rights of others handsomely.”
[NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه ABU HURAIRAH; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 3:502 (book of Representation, Authorization, Business by Proxy), SAHEEH MUSLIM 3896 (book of transactions)] b. Not being harsh while questioning the one who has been deficient in giving you your right. Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, فال أنس : خَدَمْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ تِسْعَ سِنِينَ فَمَا قَالَ لِي لِشَيْءٍ فَعَلْتُهُ لِمَ فَعَلْتَ كَذَا وَكَذَا وَمَا قَالَ لِي لِشَيْءٍ لَمْ أَفْعَلْهُ أَلَا فَعَلْتَ كَذَا وَكَذَا
“I served him for nine years but he never said to me about a thing which I had done why I did so and so, or about a thing I had not done, as to why I did not do such and such.” [NARRATED BY ANAS BIN MAALIK (RA), RECORDED IN MUSNAD AHMED 12373] Section II – Things to avoid المنفرات Being harsh-hearted and rude in speech Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Ale-Imran 3: 159 فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لاَنفَضُّواْ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ
“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.” Saying something else and doing something else Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah As-Saff 61: 2-3 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لا تَفْعَلُونَ كَبُرَ مَقْتًا عِندَ اللَّهِ أَن تَقُولُوا مَا لا تَفْعَلُونَ
“O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do.” The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, آيَةُ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلَاثٌ : إِذَا حَدَّثَ كَذَبَ وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَانَ
“The signs of a hypocrite are three: Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie; and whenever he promises, he breaks his promise; and whenever he is entrusted, he betrays (proves to be dishonest)”. [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 117 (Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Making fun of people and mocking them Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al- Hujraat 49: 11 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا يَسْخَرْ قَومٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلا نِسَاء مِّن نِّسَاء عَسَى أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ وَلا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ بِئْسَ الاِسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ
“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.” Not considering the condition and the situation of the other person Abu Mas’ood رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن أَبِي مَسْعُودٍ أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ : وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي لَأَتَأَخَّرُ عَنْ صَلَاةِ الْغَدَاةِ مِنْ أَجْلِ فُلَانٍ مِمَّا يُطِيلُ بِنَا فَمَا رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي مَوْعِظَةٍ أَشَدَّ غَضَبًا مِنْهُ يَوْمَئِذٍ ثُمَّ قَالَ إِنَّ مِنْكُمْ مُنَفِّرِينَ فَأَيُّكُمْ مَا صَلَّى بِالنَّاسِ فَلْيَتَجَوَّزْ فَإِنَّ فِيْهِمْ الضَّعِيفَ وَالْكَبِيرَ وَذَا الْحَاجَةِ
“A man came and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! By Allah, I keep away from the morning prayer only because So and so prolongs the prayer when he leads us in it.” The narrator said, “I never saw Allah’s Apostle more furious in giving advice than he was at that time. He then said, “Some of you make people dislike good deeds (the prayer). So whoever among you leads the people in prayer should shorten it because among them are the weak, the old and the needy.” [NARRATED BY ABU MAS’OOD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 1:670 (KITAAB AL ADHAAN), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Making things difficult for people and binding them down The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, يَسِّرُوا وَلَا تُعَسِّرُوا وَبَشِّرُوا وَلَا تُنَفِّرُوا
“Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them).” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:146 (Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ قَالَتْ كَانَ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا أَمَرَهُمْ أَمَرَهُمْ مِنْ الْأَعْمَالِ بِمَا يُطِيْقُوْنَ
“Whenever Allah’s Apostle ordered the Muslims to do something, he used to order them deeds which were easy for them to do, (according to their strength endurance)” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 1:19 (KITAB AL IMAAN)] Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ مَا خُيِّرَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَيْنَ أَمْرَيْنِ إِلَّا اخْتَارَ أَيْسَرَهُمَا مَا لَمْ يَأْثَمْ فَإِذَا كَانَ الْإِثْمُ كَانَ أَبْعَدَهُمَا مِنْهُ
“Whenever Allah’s Apostle was given the choice of one of two matters, he would choose the easier of the two, as long as it was not sinful to do so, but if it was sinful to do, he was the one who was the farthest from it of the people.” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:777 (KITAAB AL HUDOOD), SAHEEH MUSLIM 5752 (KITAB AL FADAIL)] Being attached to the things of this world and its beauty and attractions Al- Hasan Basri said, قال الحسن البصري : لا يَزَالُ الرَّجُلُ كَرِيماً عَلىَ النَّاسِ حَتىَّ يَطْمَعَ في دُنيَاهُم فَيَسْتَخِفُّون به ويَكْرَهُونَ حَدِيثَهُ .
“When a man who is honored among people greedy about their worldly possessions, he becomes small in their estimate and they start hating his talk.” [RECORDED IN fAIDH- AL –QADEER VOL1: PAGE NO 481] Sahl bin Sa’ad As-Sa’adi رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ السَّاعِدِيِّ قَالَ أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ دُلَّنِي عَلَى عَمَلٍ إِذَا أَنَا عَمِلْتُهُ أَحَبَّنِي اللَّهُ وَأَحَبَّنِي النَّاسُ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ازْهَدْ فِي الدُّنْيَا يُحِبَّكَ اللَّهُ وَازْهَدْ فِيمَا فِي أَيْدِي النَّاسِ يُحِبُّوكَ
A man came to the Prophet (s) and said, “O Messenger of Allah! Guide me to such an action that when I do it Allah would love me and people would also love me. The Prophet (s) said, “Decrease your interest in this world and Allah will love you (due to it). Decrease your interest in what is in the hands of people and they will also love you.” [NARRATED BY SAHL BIN SAAD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, AL KABEER BY TABARANI, HAAKIM, SHOBUL IMAAN BY BAIHAQI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 922] subhanallah beautiful Quality but today we can not find it in any environment but very very rare people,may Allah guide us and help to practice these hadiths in our life ,and forgive our sins and teach us the way,word and act which may pleased him…wa akiru dawana anilhandulillah rabi l almeen…
i don’t like to post lengthy post but as this topic is very intrusted ,don’t miss it every part of this post help you maintain ur life toward success … The way of Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ in wining the hearts of the creation Belief and good deeds Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Maryam 19: 96 إِنَّ الَّذِيْنَ آمَنُوْا وَعَمِلُوْا الصَّالِحَاتِ سَيَجْعَلُ لَهُمُ الرَّحْمَانُ وُدًّا “Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection.” The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said that Allah the Exalted says, إِذَا أَحَبَّ اللَّهُ الْعَبْدَ نَادَى جِبْرِيْلَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ فُلَانًا فَأَحْبِبْهُ فَيُحِبُّهُ جِبْرِيْلُ فَيُنَادِي جِبْرِيْلُ فِي أَهْلِ السَّمَاءِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ فُلَانًا فَأَحِبُّوْهُ فَيُحِبُّهُ أَهْلُ السَّمَاءِ ثُمَّ يُوْضَعُ لَهُ الْقَبُوْلُ فِي الْأَرْضِ
“If Allah loves a person, He calls Jibrael saying, ‘Allah loves so and-so; O Jibrael! Love him.’ Jibrael would love him and make an announcement amongst the inhabitants of the Heaven. ‘Allah loves so-and-so, therefore you should love him also,’ and so all the inhabitants of the Heaven would love him, and then he is granted the pleasure of the people on the earth.” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 4:431 (BOOK OF BEGINNING OF CREATION), SAHEEH MUSLIM 6373 (BOOK OF VIRTUES, GOOD MANNERS AND JOINING OF THE TIES OF RELATIONSHIP)]] Ibn Hajr said, the meaning of الْقَبُولُ is, قُبُوْلُ الْقُلُوْبِ لَهُ بِالْـمَحَبَّةِ وَالْـمَيْلُ إِلَيْهِ بِالرِّضَا عَنْهُ “الْقَبُولُ” means hearts accept that person with love and feel inclined to him while being pleased with him.” Harim bin Hayyaan Al-Abdi said قَالَ هَرِمُ بْنُ حَيَّانَ الْعَبْدِيُّ : مَا أَقْبَلَ عَبْدٌ بِقَلْبِهِ إِلَى اللهِ إِلَّا أَقْبَلَ اللهُ بِقُلُوْبِ الْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ إِلَيْهِ حَتَّى يَرْزُقَهُ مُوَدَّتَهُمْ وَرَحْمَتَهُمْ
“Whenever any person inclines towards Allah, Allah makes the hearts of the believers incline towards him, until he gets their love and mercy.” [Tafseer ibn kathir surah Maryam 19:96] Love for the sake of Allah and spreading ‘Salaam’ The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَا تَدْخُلُوْنَ الْجَنَّةَ حَتَّى تُؤْمِنُوْا وَلَا تُؤْمِنُوْا حَتَّى تَحَابُّوْا أَوَلَا أَدُلُّكُمْ عَلَى شَيْءٍ إِذَا فَعَلْتُمُوْهُ تَحَابَبْتُمْ أَفْشُوْا السَّلَامَ بَيْنَكُمْ
“You shall not enter paradise until you believe, and you will have not believed until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something you can do to make you love one another? Spread the greetings of salaam amongst yourselves (between each other).” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM 96 (BOOK OF FAITH)] Helping people and fulfilling their needs The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, أَحَبُّ النَّاسِ إِلَـى اللهِ أنْفَعُهُمْ “The best among the people in the sight of Allah is one who is more beneficial to them (people).”
[NARRATED BY ibn umar رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN al-kabeer by tabarani, IBN ABI DUNYA IN QADAUL HAWAAIJ, AUTHENTICATED (Hasan) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 176] a. Family and relatives The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِي “The best amongst you is the one who is best towards his family and I am the best amongst you towards my family.”
[NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN TIRMIDHI, ALSO NARRATED BY IBN ABBAS رضي الله عنه RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, AND NARRATED BY MUAWIYAH رضي الله عنه RECORDED IN AL- KABEER BY TABARANI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI: 3314] b. Importance of co-operation of the family in the duty of Dawah Statement of Musa عليه السلام Surah Ta-Ha 20:29-31 وَاجْعَل لِّي وَزِيْرًا مِّنْ أَهْلِي. هَارُوْنَ أَخِي. اشْدُدْ بِهِ أَزْرِي “And appoint for me a minister from my family – Aaron, my brother. Increase through him my strength.” c. Serving the members of the family Al- Aswad رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ الْأَسْوَدِ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ عَائِشَةَ مَا كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَصْنَعُ فِي بَيْتِهِ قَالَتْ كَانَ يَكُوْنُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ – تَعْنِي خِدْمَةَ أَهْلِهِ – فَإِذَا حَضَرَتْ الصَّلَاةُ خَرَجَ إِلَى الصَّلَاةِ
“That he asked ‘Aisha رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهاُ “What did the Prophet use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” [NARRATED BY ASWAD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 1: 644 (the book of Call to Prayers)] d. The neighbors The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ وَاللَّهِ لَا يُؤْمِنُ وَاللَّهِ لَا يُؤْمِنُ وَاللَّهِ لَا يُؤْمِنُ قَالُوْا وَمَا ذَاكَ يَا رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ قَالَ الْجَارُ لَا يَأْمَنُ جَارُهُ بَوَائِقَهُ قَالُوا يَا رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ وَمَا بَوَائِقُهُ قَالَ شَرُّهُ
“By Allah he is not a believer! By Allah he is not a believer! By Allah he is not a believer! They asked, “What is that O Messenger of Allah?” He (s) said, ‘He is that person from whose calamity his neighbour is not secure.” They asked “And what is this calamity, O Messenger of Allah?” He (s) said, “It is his evil.” [SHOEB AL ARNAUT SAYS, “ITS ISNAAD ARE SAHEEH ACCORDING TO THE CONDITIONS OF MUSLIM. ALL ITS NARRATORS ARE AUTHENTIC ACCORDING TO THE CONDITIONS OF BUKHARI AND MUSLIM EXCEPT ISMAIL BIN AMR WHO IS FROM THE PEOPLE FROM WHOM MUSLIM REPORTED. AUTHENTICATED SAHEEH BY ALBANI IN SILSILAH AHADEEH AS SAHEEHAH 2181] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيُكْرِمْ جَارَهُ “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his neighbor generously,” [NARRATED BY Abu Shuraih Al-Adawi رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:48 (the book of Good Manners and Form)] And in Saheeh Muslim, فَلْيُحْسِنْ إِلَى جَارِهِ “He should do good to the neighbour.” [NARRATED BY abu hurairah رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM 77 (book of faith)] Hence it is essential that we should be loved by our neighbour. (To achieve that we could do the following): We should become the first ones to do Salaam We should visit him when he is sick We console him when in difficulty We congratulate him in his happiness We forgive his mistakes We should not try to find out about his secrets If there are any secrets of his which we have come to know, then we should conceal them. We should consider it important to give him gifts and visit him often. We should do good to him. We should not trouble him. Making others happy The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, أَحَبُّ الأعْمَالِ إِلَى اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ سُرُوْرٌ تُدْخِـلُهُ عَلَى مُسْلِمٍ أوْ تَكْشِفُ عنهُ كُرْبَةً أوْ تَقْضِي عَنْهُ دَيْناً أوْ تَطْرُدُ عَنْهُ جُوْعاً “And the most beloved deed to Allah is that you Make a Muslim happy or Solve his difficulty or Pay for him his debt or Drive away his hunger.”
[NARRATED BY IBN UMAR رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN ABI DUNYA IN QADAUL HAWAAIJ, AL-KABEER BY TABARANI, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 176] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَا تَحْقِرَنَّ مِنْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ شَيْئًا وَلَوْ أَنْ تَلْقَى أَخَاكَ بِوَجْهٍ طَلْقٍ
“Don’t consider anything insignificant out of good things even if it is that you meet your brother with a cheerful countenance.” [NARRATED BY Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6359 The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship)] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, وَلَا تَحْقِرَنَّ شَيْئًا مِنْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ وَأَنْ تُكَلِّمَ أَخَاكَ وَأَنْتَ مُنْبَسِطٌ إِلَيْهِ وَجْهَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ “Do not look down upon any good work, and when you speak to your brother, show him a cheerful face. This is a good work.”
[NARRATED BY JAABIR BIN SALIM رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN ABU DAWOOD 4073 (KITAB AL LIBAAS), AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 7309] Abdullah bin Haarith bin Jaza’a رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ الْحَارِثِ بْنِ جَزْءٍ قَالَ مَا رَأَيْتُ أَحَدًا أَكْثَرَ تَبَسُّمًا مِنْ رَسُوْلِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ “I never saw anyone who used to smile more than the Messenger of Allah (s).” [NARRATED BY ABDULLAH BIN HAARITH BIN Jaza’a رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN TIRMIDHI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI] Jareer bin Abdullah رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن جرير بن عبد الله رضي الله عنه قال : مَا حَجَبَنِيْ رَسُوْلُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مُنْذُ أَسْلَمْتُ وَلَا رَآَنِيْ إِلَّا ضَحِكَ
“Prophet Muhammed (s) used to always remember me ever since I accepted Islam, and whenever he used to look at me he used to smile.” In another narration the word, إِلَّا تَبَسَّمَ (he used to smile) is mentioned.” (231) [RECORDED IN MUKHTASAR SHAMAIL AL MUHAMMEDIYAH 196, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN THAT BOOK] a. Being compassionate with children and making them happy Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَحْسَنَ النَّاسِ خُلُقًا وَكَانَ لِي أَخٌ يُقَالُ لَهُ أَبُوْ عُمَيْرٍ قَالَ أَحْسِبُهُ فَطِيْمًا وَكَانَ إِذَا جَاءَ قَالَ يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ نُغَرٌ كَانَ يَلْعَبُ بِهِ
“The Prophet was the best of all the people in character. I had a brother called Abu ‘Umar, who, I think, had been newly weaned. Whenever he (that child) was brought to the Prophet the Prophet used to say, “O Abu ‘Umar! What did Al-Nughair (nightingale) (do)?” It was a nightingale with which he used to play.” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:222 (Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM: 5350 (The Book on General Behaviour)] b. Some light joking with elders Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ أَنَّ رَجُلًا مِنْ أَهْلِ الْبَادِيَةِ كَانَ اسْمُهُ زَاهِرًا كَانَ يُهْدِي لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْهَدِيَّةَ مِنْ الْبَادِيَةِ فَيُجَهِّزُهُ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَخْرُجَ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنَّ زَاهِرًا بَادِيَتُنَا وَنَحْنُ حَاضِرُوْهُ وَكَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُحِبُّهُ وَكَانَ رَجُلًا دَمِيْمًا فَأَتَاهُ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَوْمًا وَهُوَ يَبِيْعُ مَتَاعَهُ فَاحْتَضَنَهُ مِنْ خَلْفِهِ وَهُوَ لَا يُبْصِرُهُ فَقَالَ الرَّجُلُ أَرْسِلْنِي مَنْ هَذَا فَالْتَفَتَ فَعَرَفَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَجَعَلَ لَا يَأْلُوْ مَا أَلْصَقَ ظَهْرَهُ بِصَدْرِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ حِيْنَ عَرَفَهُ وَجَعَلَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُوْلُ مَنْ يَشْتَرِي الْعَبْدَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ إِذًا وَاللَّهِ تَجِدُنِي كَاسِدًا فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَكِنْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ لَسْتَ بِكَاسِدٍ أَوْ قَالَ لَكِنْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَنْتَ غَالٍ
“There was a man who used to stay in the dessert whose name was Zaahir. When he would come from the dessert he used to bring for him gifts and when he would intend to go back the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to load him with gifts. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to say, “Zaahir is for us in the dessert and i am for him in the city.” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم used to love him even though he was a ugly looking person. One day the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم came to him while he was selling his things and caught him from behind. Zaahir could not see so he said, “leave me! Who is it?” When he turned, saw and found that it was the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, he started pressing his back more to the chest of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم not minding it any more. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم started saying, “Who will buy this slave from me?” He said, “O Messenger of Allah! You will find me very cheap.”
On this the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “Before Allah you are not cheap” or he said, “Before Allah your are very precious”” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه, RECORDED IN MUSNAD AHMAD, AUTHENTICATED BY SHOAIB AL-ARNAOOT: ACCORDING TO THE CONDITIONS OF BUKHARI AND MUSLIM] Respecting all Muslims, honoring them and behaving courteously with them The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَيْسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي مَنْ لَمْ يُجِلَّ كَبِيْرَنَا وَيَرْحَمْ صَغِيْرَنَا وَيَعْرِفْ لِعَالِمِنَا حَقَّهُ
“He is not from my followers who does not honour the elders, does not have mercy on our youngsters, who does not know the status of scholars.”
[NARRATED BY IBAADAH BIN SWAMIT رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN MUSNAD AHMED, HAAKIM, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 5443] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, إِذَا أَتَاكُمْ كَرِيْمُ قَوْمٍ فَأَكْرِمُوْهُ “When an honoured person of any community comes to you then you should honour him.”
[NARRATED BY IBN UMAR رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, ALSO NARRATED BY JABIR RECORDED IN HAAKIM, ALSO NARRATED BY IBN ABBAS AND ABDULLAH BIN DHAMARAH RECORDED IN AL- KABEER BY TABARANI, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 269] The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيُكْرِمْ ضَيْفَهُ “Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously,”
[NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 47 (the book of Good Manners and Form) and also in muslim] And Prophet (saw) said on the day of the Conquest of Mecca وَقَالَ عَلَيْهِ أَفْضَلُ الصَّلَاةِ وَالسَّلَامُ يَوْمَ الْفَتْحِ مَنْ دَخَلَ دَارَ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ فَهُوَ آمِنٌ “Who enters the house of Abu Sufyaan will be safe,”
[NARRATED on the authority of Abdullah b. RABAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 4396 (The Book of Jihad and EXPEDITION)] المداراة – Soft speech, pleasant appearance and good behavior والْمُدَارَاةُ هِيَ لِيْنُ الْكَلَامِ والبَشَاشَةُ وَحُسْنُ العِشَرَةِ لِأُنَاسٍ عِنْدَهُم شَيءٌ مِنَ الفُجُوْرِ والفِسْقِ لِمَصلَحَةٍ شَرعِيَّةٍ . الْمُدَارَاةُ لَيسَتِ الْمُدَاهَنَةُ.
المداراة is soft speech, having a pleasant appearance and good behavior even with evil, rebellious people for a resaon of the Shariah.” Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ أَنَّ رَجُلًا اسْتَأْذَنَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَلَمَّا رَآهُ قَالَ بِئْسَ أَخُوْ الْعَشِيْرَةِ وَبِئْسَ ابْنُ الْعَشِيْرَةِ فَلَمَّا جَلَسَ تَطَلَّقَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي وَجْهِهِ وَانْبَسَطَ إِلَيْهِ فَلَمَّا انْطَلَقَ الرَّجُلُ قَالَتْ لَهُ عَائِشَةُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ حِينَ رَأَيْتَ الرَّجُلَ قُلْتَ لَهُ كَذَا وَكَذَا ثُمَّ تَطَلَّقْتَ فِي وَجْهِهِ وَانْبَسَطْتَ إِلَيْهِ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَا عَائِشَةُ مَتَى عَهِدْتِنِي فَحَّاشًا إِنَّ شَرَّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ مَنْ تَرَكَهُ النَّاسُ اتِّقَاءَ شَرِّهِ
“A man asked permission to enter upon Allah’s Apostle (s). The Prophet said, “Admit him. What an evil brother of his people or a son of his people.” But when the man entered, the Prophet spoke to him in a very polite manner. (And when that person left) I said, “O Allah’s Apostle! You had said what you had said, yet you spoke to him in a very polite manner?” The Prophet said, “O ‘Aisha! The worst people are those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression.” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 80 (the book of Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Good Speech حسن الكلام The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, الْكَلِمَةُ الطَّيِّبَةُ صَدَقَةٌ “And (saying) a good word is also Sadaqa,” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 4: 232 (the book of Fighting for the Cause of Allah), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Isra’a 17: 53 وَقُل لِّعِبَادِي يَقُوْلُواْ الَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَنْزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ كَانَ لِلإِنْسَانِ عَدُوًّا مُّبِيْنًا
“And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.” Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا أَنَّ يَهُوْدَ أَتَوْا النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالُوْا السَّامُ عَلَيْكُمْ فَقَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ : ((عَلَيْكُمْ وَلَعَنَكُمْ اللَّهُ وَغَضِبَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْكُمْ )) قَالَ : ((مَهْلًا يَا عَائِشَةُ عَلَيْكِ بِالرِّفْقِ وَإِيَّاكِ وَالْعُنْفَ وَالْفُحْشَ )) قَالَتْ أَوَلَمْ تَسْمَعْ مَا قَالُوْا قَالَ (( أَوَلَمْ تَسْمَعِي مَا قُلْتُ رَدَدْتُ عَلَيْهِمْ فَيُسْتَجَابُ لِيْ فِيْهِمْ وَلَا يُسْتَجَابُ لَهُمْ فِيَّ ))
“The Jews came to the Prophet and said, “As-Samu ‘Alaikum” (death be on you).’Aisha said (to them), “(Death) be on you, and may Allah curse you and shower His wrath upon you!” The Prophet said, “Be calm, O ‘Aisha ! You should be kind and lenient, and beware of harshness and Fuhsh (i.e. bad words).” She said (to the Prophet), “Haven’t you heard what they (Jews) have said?” He said, “Haven’t you heard what I have said (to them)? I said the same to them, and my invocation against them will be accepted while theirs against me will be rejected (by Allah). ” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 57 (the book of Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM, TIRMIDHI, IBN MAJAH, MUSNAD AHMED, DAARIMI, WORDS ARE FROM BUKHARI] a. Respecting the person talking and not interrupting his conversation Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ مَا رَأَيْتُ رَجُلًا الْتَقَمَ أُذُنَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَيُنَحِّي رَأْسَهُ حَتَّى يَكُونَ الرَّجُلُ هُوَ الَّذِي يُنَحِّي رَأَسَهُ وَمَا رَأَيْتُ رَجُلًا أَخَذَ بِيَدِهِ فَتَرَكَ يَدَهُ حَتَّى يَكُوْنَ الرَّجُلُ هُوَ الَّذِي يَدَعُ يَدَهُ
“I never saw that when any man brought his mouth to the ear of the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and he withdrew his head until the man himself withdrew his head, and I never saw that when any man took him by his hand and he withdrew his hand, until the man himself withdrew his hand.” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN ABU DAWOOD 4776 (KITAAB AL AADAAB), AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI] الرفق Kindness The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيْقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ وَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ وَمَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى مَا سِوَاهُ
“Verily Allah is kind and He loves kindness and confers upon kindness which he does not confer upon severity and does not confer upon anything else besides it (kindness).” [NARRATED BY aisha رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6273 (The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship)] a. The incident of the person who urinated in the mosque Anas bin Malik رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن أَنَسُ بْنُ مَالِكٍ قَالَ بَيْنَمَا نَحْنُ فِي الْمَسْجِدِ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذْ جَاءَ أَعْرَابِيٌّ فَقَامَ يَبُوْلُ فِي الْمَسْجِدِ فَقَالَ أَصْحَابُ رَسُوْلِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَهْ مَهْ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لَا تُزْرِمُوْهُ دَعُوْهُ فَتَرَكُوْهُ حَتَّى بَالَ ثُمَّ إِنَّ رَسُوْلَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ دَعَاهُ فَقَالَ لَهُ إِنَّ هَذِهِ الْمَسَاجِدَ لَا تَصْلُحُ لِشَيْءٍ مِنْ هَذَا الْبَوْلِ وَلَا الْقَذَرِ إِنَّمَا هِيَ لِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَالصَّلَاةِ وَقِرَاءَةِ الْقُرْآنِ أَوْ كَمَا قَالَ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّه عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ فَأَمَرَ رَجُلًا مِنَ الْقَوْمِ فَجَاءَ بِدَلْوٍ مِنْ مَاءٍ فَشَنَّهُ عَلَيْهِ
“While we were in the mosque with Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him), a desert Arab came and stood up and began to urinate in the mosque. The Companions of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Stop, stop, but the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Don’t interrupt him; leave him alone. They left him alone, and when he finished urinating, Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) called him and said to him: These mosques are not the places meant for urine and filth, but are only for the remembrance of Allah, prayer and the recitation of the Qur’an, or Allah’s Messenger said something like that. He (the narrator) said that he (the Holy Prophet) then gave orders to one of the people who brought a bucket of water and poured it over.” [NARRATED BY ANAS BIN MALIK رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 559 (The Book of Purification)] b. The incident of the person who spoke in Salah Muawiyah bin Al- Hakami As-Sulami رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ مُعَاوِيَةَ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ السُّلَمِيِّ قَالَ بَيْنَا أَنَا أُصَلِّي مَعَ رَسُوْلِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذْ عَطَسَ رَجُلٌ مِنْ الْقَوْمِ فَقُلْتُ يَرْحَمُكَ اللَّهُ فَرَمَانِي الْقَوْمُ بِأَبْصَارِهِمْ فَقُلْتُ وَا ثُكْلَ أُمِّيَاهْ مَا شَأْنُكُمْ تَنْظُرُوْنَ إِلَيَّ فَجَعَلُوْا يَضْرِبُوْنَ بِأَيْدِيْهِمْ عَلَى أَفْخَاذِهِمْ فَلَمَّا رَأَيْتُهُمْ يُصَمِّتُوْنَنِي لَكِنِّي سَكَتُّ فَلَمَّا صَلَّى رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَبِأَبِي هُوَ وَأُمِّي مَا رَأَيْتُ مُعَلِّمًا قَبْلَهُ وَلَا بَعْدَهُ أَحْسَنَ تَعْلِيْمًا مِنْهُ فَوَاللَّهِ مَا قَهَرَنِي وَلَا ضَرَبَنِي وَلَا شَتَمَنِي قَالَ إِنَّ هَذِهِ الصَّلَاةَ لَا يَصْلُحُ فِيْهَا شَيْءٌ مِنْ كَلَامِ النَّاسِ إِنَّمَا هُوَ التَّسْبِيْحُ وَالتَّكْبِيْرُ وَقِرَاءَةُ الْقُرْآنِ أَوْ كَمَا قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ
“While I was praying with the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), a man in the company sneezed. I said: Allah have mercy on you! The people stared at me with disapproving looks, so I said: Woe be upon me, why is it that you stare at me? They began to strike their hands on their thighs, and when I saw them urging me to observe silence (I became angry) but I said nothing. When the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) had said the prayer (and I declare that neither before him nor after him have I seen a leader who gave better instruction than he for whom I would give my father and mother as ransom). I swear that he did not scold, beat or revile me but said: Talking to persons is not fitting during the prayer, for it consists of glorifying Allah, declaring his Greatness. and recitation of the Qur’an or words to that effect.” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 1094 (The Book of Prayers)] Forbearance, controlling anger and forgiving people Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Ale- Imran 3:134 وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ “And who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good,” The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ
“The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 135 (the book of Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6314 (The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship)] Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Fussilat 41: 34-35 وَلا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].” Anas bin Malik رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ كُنْتُ أَمْشِي مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَعَلَيْهِ بُرْدٌ نَجْرَانِيٌّ غَلِيظُ الْحَاشِيَةِ فَأَدْرَكَهُ أَعْرَابِيٌّ فَجَذَبَهُ جَذْبَةً شَدِيدَةً حَتَّى نَظَرْتُ إِلَى صَفْحَةِ عَاتِقِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَدْ أَثَّرَتْ بِهِ حَاشِيَةُ الرِّدَاءِ مِنْ شِدَّةِ جَذْبَتِهِ ثُمَّ قَالَ مُرْ لِي مِنْ مَالِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي عِنْدَكَ فَالْتَفَتَ إِلَيْهِ فَضَحِكَ ثُمَّ أَمَرَ لَهُ بِعَطَاءٍ
“While I was walking with the Prophet who was wearing a Najrani outer garment with a thick hem, a bedouin came upon the Prophet and pulled his garment so violently that I could recognize the impress of the hem of the garment on his shoulder, caused by the violence of his pull. Then the bedouin said, “Order for me something from Allah’s Fortune which you have.” The Prophet turned to him and smiled, and ordered that a gift be given to him.” [NARRATED BY ANAS BIN MALIM رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 4:377 (the book of One-fifth of Booty to the Cause of Allah), SAHEEH MUSLIM] الجود والكرم Generosity and benevolence Jabir رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن جَابِرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قالَ مَا سُئِلَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَنْ شَيْءٍ قَطُّ فَقَالَ لَا “It never happened that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) was asked for anything and he said: No.”
[NARRATED BY JABIR رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI, SAHEEH MUSLIM: 5726 (The Book Pertaining to the Excellent Qualities of the Holy Prophet (may Peace be upon them) and His Companions)] Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ مَا سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَلَى الْإِسْلَامِ شَيْئًا إِلَّا أَعْطَاهُ قَالَ فَجَاءَهُ رَجُلٌ فَأَعْطَاهُ غَنَمًا بَيْنَ جَبَلَيْنِ فَرَجَعَ إِلَى قَوْمِهِ فَقَالَ يَا قَوْمِ أَسْلِمُوا فَإِنَّ مُحَمَّدًا يُعْطِي عَطَاءً لَا يَخْشَى الْفَاقَةَ
“It never happened that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) was asked anything for the sake of Islam and he did not give that. There came to him a person and he gave him a large flock (of sheep and goats) and he went back to his people and said: My people, embrace Islam, for Muhammad gives so much charity as if he has no fear of want.” [NARRATED BY ANAS رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM 5728 (KITAB AL FADAIL)] Giving gifts is one of the forms of generosity The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, تَهَادَوْا تَحَابُّوا “Give gifts: You will start loving each other.” [NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN MUSNAD ABU YA’LA, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 3004] Humility and being kind to people التواضع ولين الجانب The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, مَنْ كانَ هَيِّناً لَيِّناً قَريباً حَرَّمَهُ الله على النّارِ ”The person who by nature is easy-going, kind natured. Allah will make the fire of Hell forbidden for him.” [NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN HAAKIM, BAIHAQI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 6484] Abu Mas’ood رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَبِي مَسْعُودٍ قَالَ أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ رَجُلٌ فَكَلَّمَهُ فَجَعَلَ تُرْعَدُ فَرَائِصُهُ فَقَالَ لَهُ هَوِّنْ عَلَيْكَ فَإِنِّي لَسْتُ بِمَلِكٍ إِنَّمَا أَنَا ابْنُ امْرَأَةٍ تَأْكُلُ الْقَدِيدَ “A man came to the Prophet (s) and started talking to him. (While he was talking) his both sides started to tremble.
The Prophet (s) said to him, “Take it easy, for I am not a King. Rather I am (only) the son of a woman who used to eat intestines.” [Eating the intestines of an animal is normally considered an action of very poor people]
[NARRATED BY ABU MAS’OOD AL- BADRI رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, HAAKIM, ALSO NARRATED BY JARAIR RECORDED IN HAAKIM, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 7052] It is mentioned in the Qur’an, Surah Al- Ara’af, 7: 12 that it was the statement of Iblees, أَنَاْ خَيْرٌ مِّنْهُ خَلَقْتَنِي مِن نَّارٍ وَخَلَقْتَهُ مِن طِينٍ “I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay.” Being lenient in dealings a. Being lenient in taking and giving things The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, كَانَ الرَّجُلُ يُدَايِنُ النَّاسَ فَكَانَ يَقُولُ لِفَتَاهُ إِذَا أَتَيْتَ مُعْسِرًا فَتَجَاوَزْ عَنْهُ لَعَلَّ اللَّهَ أَنْ يَتَجَاوَزَ عَنَّا قَالَ فَلَقِيَ اللَّهَ فَتَجَاوَزَ عَنْهُ
“There was a merchant who used to lend the people, and whenever his debtor was in straitened circumstances, he would say to his employees, ‘Forgive him so that Allah may forgive us.’ So, Allah forgave him.” [NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 3:292 (BOOK OF SALES AND TRADE), SAHEEH MUSLIM 3793 (BOOK OF TRADE)] Abu Hurairah رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ أَنَّ رَجُلًا أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَتَقَاضَاهُ فَأَغْلَظَ فَهَمَّ بِهِ أَصْحَابُهُ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ دَعُوهُ فَإِنَّ لِصَاحِبِ الْحَقِّ مَقَالًا ثُمَّ قَالَ أَعْطُوهُ سِنًّا مِثْلَ سِنِّهِ قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِلَّا أَمْثَلَ مِنْ سِنِّهِ فَقَالَ أَعْطُوهُ [فَقَالَ أَوْفَيْتَنِي أَوْفَى اللَّهُ بِكَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَإِنَّ مِنْ خَيْرِكُمْ أَحْسَنَكُمْ قَضَاءً
“A man came to the Prophet demanding his debts and behaved rudely. The companions of the Prophet intended to harm him, but Allah’s Apostle said (to them), “Leave him, for the creditor (i.e. owner of a right) has the right to speak.” Allah’s Apostle then said, “Give him a camel of the same age as that of his.” The people said, “O Allah’s Apostle! There is only a camel that is older than his.” Allah’s Apostle said, “Give (it to) him,” [On that, the man remarked, “You have given me my right in full. May Allah give you in full.”] “For the best amongst you is he who pays the rights of others handsomely.”
[NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه ABU HURAIRAH; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 3:502 (book of Representation, Authorization, Business by Proxy), SAHEEH MUSLIM 3896 (book of transactions)] b. Not being harsh while questioning the one who has been deficient in giving you your right. Anas رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, فال أنس : خَدَمْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ تِسْعَ سِنِينَ فَمَا قَالَ لِي لِشَيْءٍ فَعَلْتُهُ لِمَ فَعَلْتَ كَذَا وَكَذَا وَمَا قَالَ لِي لِشَيْءٍ لَمْ أَفْعَلْهُ أَلَا فَعَلْتَ كَذَا وَكَذَا
“I served him for nine years but he never said to me about a thing which I had done why I did so and so, or about a thing I had not done, as to why I did not do such and such.” [NARRATED BY ANAS BIN MAALIK (RA), RECORDED IN MUSNAD AHMED 12373] Section II – Things to avoid المنفرات Being harsh-hearted and rude in speech Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Ale-Imran 3: 159 فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لاَنفَضُّواْ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ
“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.” Saying something else and doing something else Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah As-Saff 61: 2-3 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لا تَفْعَلُونَ كَبُرَ مَقْتًا عِندَ اللَّهِ أَن تَقُولُوا مَا لا تَفْعَلُونَ
“O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do.” The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, آيَةُ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلَاثٌ : إِذَا حَدَّثَ كَذَبَ وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَانَ
“The signs of a hypocrite are three: Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie; and whenever he promises, he breaks his promise; and whenever he is entrusted, he betrays (proves to be dishonest)”. [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8: 117 (Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Making fun of people and mocking them Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al- Hujraat 49: 11 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا يَسْخَرْ قَومٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلا نِسَاء مِّن نِّسَاء عَسَى أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ وَلا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ بِئْسَ الاِسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ
“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.” Not considering the condition and the situation of the other person Abu Mas’ood رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عن أَبِي مَسْعُودٍ أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ : وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّي لَأَتَأَخَّرُ عَنْ صَلَاةِ الْغَدَاةِ مِنْ أَجْلِ فُلَانٍ مِمَّا يُطِيلُ بِنَا فَمَا رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي مَوْعِظَةٍ أَشَدَّ غَضَبًا مِنْهُ يَوْمَئِذٍ ثُمَّ قَالَ إِنَّ مِنْكُمْ مُنَفِّرِينَ فَأَيُّكُمْ مَا صَلَّى بِالنَّاسِ فَلْيَتَجَوَّزْ فَإِنَّ فِيْهِمْ الضَّعِيفَ وَالْكَبِيرَ وَذَا الْحَاجَةِ
“A man came and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! By Allah, I keep away from the morning prayer only because So and so prolongs the prayer when he leads us in it.” The narrator said, “I never saw Allah’s Apostle more furious in giving advice than he was at that time. He then said, “Some of you make people dislike good deeds (the prayer). So whoever among you leads the people in prayer should shorten it because among them are the weak, the old and the needy.” [NARRATED BY ABU MAS’OOD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 1:670 (KITAAB AL ADHAAN), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Making things difficult for people and binding them down The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, يَسِّرُوا وَلَا تُعَسِّرُوا وَبَشِّرُوا وَلَا تُنَفِّرُوا
“Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them).” [NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:146 (Good Manners and Form), SAHEEH MUSLIM] Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ قَالَتْ كَانَ رَسُوْلُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا أَمَرَهُمْ أَمَرَهُمْ مِنْ الْأَعْمَالِ بِمَا يُطِيْقُوْنَ
“Whenever Allah’s Apostle ordered the Muslims to do something, he used to order them deeds which were easy for them to do, (according to their strength endurance)” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 1:19 (KITAB AL IMAAN)] Aishaرضي الله عنها narrated, عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ مَا خُيِّرَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَيْنَ أَمْرَيْنِ إِلَّا اخْتَارَ أَيْسَرَهُمَا مَا لَمْ يَأْثَمْ فَإِذَا كَانَ الْإِثْمُ كَانَ أَبْعَدَهُمَا مِنْهُ
“Whenever Allah’s Apostle was given the choice of one of two matters, he would choose the easier of the two, as long as it was not sinful to do so, but if it was sinful to do, he was the one who was the farthest from it of the people.” [NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI 8:777 (KITAAB AL HUDOOD), SAHEEH MUSLIM 5752 (KITAB AL FADAIL)] Being attached to the things of this world and its beauty and attractions Al- Hasan Basri said, قال الحسن البصري : لا يَزَالُ الرَّجُلُ كَرِيماً عَلىَ النَّاسِ حَتىَّ يَطْمَعَ في دُنيَاهُم فَيَسْتَخِفُّون به ويَكْرَهُونَ حَدِيثَهُ .
“When a man who is honored among people greedy about their worldly possessions, he becomes small in their estimate and they start hating his talk.” [RECORDED IN fAIDH- AL –QADEER VOL1: PAGE NO 481] Sahl bin Sa’ad As-Sa’adi رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ narrated, عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ السَّاعِدِيِّ قَالَ أَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ دُلَّنِي عَلَى عَمَلٍ إِذَا أَنَا عَمِلْتُهُ أَحَبَّنِي اللَّهُ وَأَحَبَّنِي النَّاسُ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ازْهَدْ فِي الدُّنْيَا يُحِبَّكَ اللَّهُ وَازْهَدْ فِيمَا فِي أَيْدِي النَّاسِ يُحِبُّوكَ
A man came to the Prophet (s) and said, “O Messenger of Allah! Guide me to such an action that when I do it Allah would love me and people would also love me. The Prophet (s) said, “Decrease your interest in this world and Allah will love you (due to it). Decrease your interest in what is in the hands of people and they will also love you.” [NARRATED BY SAHL BIN SAAD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN IBN MAJAH, AL KABEER BY TABARANI, HAAKIM, SHOBUL IMAAN BY BAIHAQI, AUTHENTICATED (SAHEEH) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 922] subhanallah beautiful Quality but today we can not find it in any environment but very very rare people,may Allah guide us and help to practice these hadiths in our life ,and forgive our sins and teach us the way,word and act which may pleased him…wa akiru dawana anilhandulillah rabi l almeen…
Message For Mankind... 